Change, on your terms


February 2, 2023

As we live our lives day to day, it can be easy to want to keep everything stable and predictable. Especially when things happen out of our control, it takes time to come to terms with a new reality of expectations for ourselves and others.

However, when we decide to make a necessary change in our lives, I believe we have the power to adjust to the new reality we are creating, even if it’s going to be uncomfortable. Because the alternative to the change is typically far more painful than staying stuck in the same place.

I think about change differently now than I did 11 years ago. Sobriety helped shape how I view myself and the capabilities I have in times of uncertainty. I’ve learned that no matter how hopeless I may feel in the situation, it is entirely up to me to decide whether or not I’m going to have a positive or negative experience. That’s all it is. A decision I could make ahead of time, like even before all of the s#*t goes down.

Now, I’m not going to say it’s been easy. It has taken time and loads of inner conflict along the way because I’d grown pretty comfortable viewing myself as the victim in certain circumstances and well, old habits die hard. When I finally owned my decision to do anything, I knew the experience and outcome were mine to own as well and this was truly liberating.

This gave me a much greater sense of power over what I was creating in my life and in many ways made me stronger when it came to riding the ups and downs along the way.

I knew in my heart that in the end, I would be someplace different or better or more rewarding.  My hope for growth would always see me through.

One of the most liberating things I’ve grown to understand is that I get to decide how I’m going to experience every day. In either joy or pain. Comfort or discomfort. That is a pretty empowering concept right there. Once I realized this, everything shifted.

So, when thinking about change you may be contemplating in your life, know that although you may not be in control of how things go down, when it comes to how you react, feel, understand and grow from it, you are always in the driver’s seat.

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